LAURA INNS/OMAHA WORLD-HERALD
Tim Marlowe, a Redshirt Freshman WR from some school named Mooney or some shit, was arrested for underage consumption late friday night at around 11:45 PM. The police were called to a loid, boisterous, party, obviously involving many many drunk Nebraskans, not just normal Nebraskans, UNDERAGE drunk Nebraskans. Well the cops came, stocked with breathalyzers, knocked on the door and here comes a stumbling Marlowe who smelled of alcohol and couldn't focus on the officers. So he was immediately taken to DETOX, and charged with underage consumption. As soon as the officers got him to detox and gave each other high fives for the sweet sweet bust, they remembered, shit we forgot everyone else. Yup, thats the ONLY person ticketed at that house. Why can't this happen to me at parties? First person the cops see BAM, jailed and everyone else is off free. Then again as of like 2 years ago Marlowes parents could still give him away if they pleased, so maybe its just the fucked up Nebraska laws.